OMG Can this night get any crazier? So I managed not to throw up long enough to follow Uncle Trigger tonight. And just like in that gofer movie everything went pretty much like the original time. Except like they ate before they went to the library. Don't ask me why that made everything different. It must be a fat cow thing. I mean she's like a huge beach ball. Whoever called her the hottest YA in Riverside must have been staring at her tits because those are the only thing bigger then her stomach.
So I followed her and stupid Uncle Trigger to the library. And there they are all flirting and kissing *gags* Okay so this goes on for ages. And ages.... Annnnnd AGES!!!!! Finally the fat cow has Uncle Trigger all dizzy and light headed form all that disgusting PDA. Now don't get me PDA is fine, but when it's a fat cow PDAing with your uncle, you just want to vomit. So she's like the baby is going to be born any day now and I need to tell the old hussy the truth. I may be abbreviating here but it went pretty much like this.
I love you and you know that old hag doesn't, break up with her dried up cunt and marry me. ~Fat Cow
You're right, she's horrid in bed these days and never wants to put out after our last mistake. ~ Uncle T.
I love you you sexy thing *Jumps and does him right there.*~ Fat Cow
After that I felt it was safe to go find the old hussy who had gone out to dinner with her man whore, Hal. What I saw made me vomit twice. They were hanging out at the diner making out like two horny teenagers. It was...... Unspeakable. Then the commitmentphobe purposes to her right there. I seriously need to know what that hussy does to get these guys so quickly.....
Wait, can someone wash my brain out with soap. I just got a nasty visual. Oh gawd someone remove that image from my head. They were all tangled like that too but old and wrinkly. I think I'm going to be sick again.
Okay so Uncle Hal ended up divorcing the old hussy over the phone. And married the fat cow right there in the library. Then they ended up going back to the trailer where the old hussy ended up yelling at her fat cow of a daughter and kicked her and Uncle Trig out. Lucky for fat cow that her spinster sister lives right across the street. So they ran over there and of course the spinster doesn't give a fuck about uncle Hal. He doesn't get artists either. But she told fat cow and him they could live with them.
I'm exhausted after running around all night. I even told Duke I couldn't see him because I was spying on the old cunt. Okay I told him I had female issues and wasn't feeling well but he still wanted to talk to me. Can you believe that?
B.
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