Bambi Broke's Diary Entry 2

Omg I've heard the most horrendous rumor at school today and if it's true kill me now.  So first rumor is that Tubs and his wife waz-her-name adopted a baby boy. And she might be pregnant. No way tubs a daddy. Omg tell me it's not true. I mean if he has a baby there's a good chance it'll come out looking like a baby wale. Tubs will never forgive me for accidentally calling him that in the middle of the school yard. I mean jeez get over your fat ass and forgive me for calling you fat ages ago.You look halfway decent now. 


So anywho that's not even the most awful thing I heard at school today. What I heard is a fate worse than death. I mean seriously bite me, turn me and stake me now if it's true.  Yeah I watch the Buffy reruns sue me.  

Okay okay I'm getting to the horror. So the rumor is that Daisy, the Ms. Fat Cow of our school has not only blossomed into the hottest woman ever. Like  not a zit on her YA face, gorgeous. Okay I'm getting there. So the rumor is that she's pregnant. I know I know you're like oh what's the drama Bambi. But That's not even close to all I heard. The whole rumor goes that Uncle Trigger has been spending a lot of time at her place before she became pregnant. But seriously she hasn't gained an ounce since she lost all that weight in  fat camp. I know you're  calling me a bitch for telling it like it is, but when you disappear over summer and come back freaking hot you've been to fat camp. 


So anyways she returns all hot, her dad's a total sleaze bag too. How he managed to spend most of his life with that heifer Dusty I don't know. He seemed alright until he moved out. Now he's banging every female with a pulse. He even knocked up Ugly Mrs. {now Ex Mrs.} Grisby. Can you say Ewwww? It's known all around town that he doesn't even pay his child support too, but can you blame him for denying sleeping with that.


Anyways the freak of rumors is that Uncle Trigger is the daddy of Daisy's unborn baby. Do you not see the Eww in that? I mean Duke's half sister and step-dad fathered a baby. If it's even remotely true I'm going to choke on my own barf now. Oh yeah and Trigger's MY uncle. You do the math cause it's making me ill just thinking about it. 


B.